Crawling
by Claudia Malakian
Summary: Draco looks back on his life and wonders why, with all his attempted suicides, he's still here.


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Crawling

By: Kylie Malfoy

Rating: PG-13 - Suicide…

Disclaimer: Draco and Lucius Malfoy belong to J.K. Rowling ((The Goddess)), I just own the plot! Also, if you read the title, you know that the song is "Crawling" by Linkin Park!

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Crawling in my skin… these wounds, they will not heal, fear is how I fall… confusing what is real!

Draco's pale eyes flickered down to the scars across his wrists. No matter how many times the cuts scarred, the real wounds had never healed… why? Why couldn't Lucius just leave him alone?

**__**

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface…

Rising slowly from his bed, he grabbed the collar of his pajamas and loosened it. Then, he found use of his feet and sauntered to the bathroom.

**__**

Consuming, confusing…

He let out a pained sigh as he gazed in the mirror at the boy he no longer recognized. His eye was bruised, bruised from Lucius' hard fist. What had hurt him more: The horrid bruise or the fact that it was his own father that made it?

**__**

This lack of self-control I fear is never ending…

While gazing at the reflection, his hands found the faucet knobs and twisted them, the sound of the water calming him. His hands formed a cup and scooped into the water, and then splashed his face with the refreshing liquid.

**__**

Controlling… I can't seem…

Allowing the water to trickle down his pale cheeks, he took a few deep breaths and then tore his eyes away from the mirror and stared at the cabinet beside it.

**__**

To find myself again, my walls are closing in…

**__**

Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take!

The tortured boy grabbed the handle and tore open the door, revealing a pair of scissors and numerous sets of his mother's make-up.

**__**

I've felt this way before… so insecure!

As if some other being controlled it, Draco's hand grabbed the scissors, and he stared at them blankly. 

**__**

Crawling in my skin… these wounds, they will not heal, fear is how I fall… confusing what is real!

Should he? Should he end his life? All he did was criticize! What good was that? He had no friends! Even though he has tried to kill himself before… he had not succeeded… would he… would he this time?

**__**

Discomfort, endlessly, has pulled itself upon me…

And his perverted father has molested him several times… what was the point of living in such discomfort?! Where was the love, the fatherly love? Not the sickening perverted love, the homosexual love, but the _fatherly_ love?

**__**

Distracting, reacting…

And his father blamed _him_ for his failing grades! But it was Lucius' _own_ fault! He was the one distracting Draco!

**__**

Against my will I stand beside my own reflection…

Draco looked into the mirror again. Was that really him? 

**__**

It's haunting… how I can't seem… to find myself again, my walls are closing in…

Allowing his arm to fall to the side, Draco collapsed against the bathroom door and actually _allowed_ the tears to fall.

**__**

Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take!

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Why? he thought. _Why am I even here?!_

**__**

I've felt this way before… so insecure!

He threw his head back against the door, choking back a sob, inhaling a shuddering breath.

**__**

Crawling in my skin… these wounds, they will not heal, fear is how I fall… confusing what is real!

Finding strength in his numb arms, he raised the scissors and held them out before his chest, his heart.

**__**

Crawling in my skin… these wounds, they will not heal, fear is how I fall… confusing… confusing what is real!

His chest rose and fell with each shuddering, shallow breath he took. His hands trembled, the tears flowed freely.

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There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface… consuming…

With his teeth gritted and his eyes clenched shut, he tried to calm himself, what for, he did not know. 

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Confusing what is real!

Taking a deep breath, he prepared himself…

**__**

This lack of self-control I fear is never ending… controlling…

And with one last cry, he brought the scissors to his chest, penetrating the skin and stabbing his heart.

**__**

Confusing what is real….!

And his hands dropped to his sides, the blades lodged in his chest, his body motionless, his lungs frozen… he was dead.

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Okay, I rewrote it, so it was a bit more in my style. Before I altered it, I bloody hated it! Now it's a bit more… well, you tell me. If you read the original version, you know this is **much** better than before… I hope… so please, R/R! 


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